On't let my bumbling put you off - I'm a clever man really
A wise wizard once said, 'Words are, in my not-so-humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic.' With that in mind...
I wonder if I could intrude upon a little of your time,
I'm a clever kind of chap, who likes nothing more than reading with the right woman.
The first thing people usually notice about me is my caring personality, closly followed by my smashing thighs. My friends say I'm very clever and that I have great thighs and acceptable fingers, but what would I know? I just live in this heap of junk they call my body.
I work as a lawyer, helping the public. This allows me to exercise my skills: intelligence and planting trees. The most interesting thing that's happened to me at work, is that Tom Hardy asked me for a sandwich. Of course, I was astounded that such a person would have time for muggins here. Of course, I made the sandwich.
My life goals include:
Recieve a telegram from an owl
Become worthy of you
Become the best lawyer I can be
Help all the the public in the world
If you're the right woman for me, you'll be lovable and remarkable. You won't be afraid to have a good time and will have a healthy respect for personal freedom.
My ideal date would involve star gazing in Bali with a slender woman by my side. While we're there, I worship your pretty face, only able to aspire to being worthy of you.
I'm just a humble chap trying to make my way in the world. I cannot imagine why you'd want to date little old me, but if an ordinary nice bloke is something you think you could find yourself growing to love, I do have all my own teeth and an adequate pension plan.
And I'll leave you with a quote from the one-and-only Harry Potter: "It seems as though I always knew I'd have to face him in the end."
If you can find it in your heart to take pity on a hopeless romantic, please give me a whirl.
Yours hopefully
pepperjack
