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Well, I'm a Porkatarian and a Pastafarian, one of which refers to my eating habits and the other to my satirical religious affiliation... I'm studying hazards and disaster management which, at the end of a career spent mitigating against the ill-effects of mother Nature's wrath, I hope to spend my final moments paddling down lava-flow in an asbestos canoe... I speak various languages because I'm paranoid (French, Brazilian Portuguese, Arabic and a few more seeking Man who is capable of rescuing me from 8-legged blood-sucking monsters and comforting me during post-spider manic melt-down.