I'm looking for somebody that is breathing, and preferably not in any type of
relationship, such as marriage, a cult, or prison. A woman that has a steady head
on her shoulders, but not a steady shot when she's mad. As beautiful on the
inside, as she is in the dark. She has to have a sense of humor, especially if
catching me in a lie, drunk, or out with the guys (or all the above). She MUST
know how to bathe, and does it regularly....with or without my assistance. She
cannot be a blood relative (note to self: always check this first, not last). And
must be of legal age...according to U.S. law. She has to be pretty awesome if I'm going to consider spending my life with her, but I hope she's got high standards too!